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How can I make sure my Wedding is an Adult – only affair???
The debate of whether or not to invite children to your wedding has been pretty well covered in the world of weddings as of late. It is a pretty tricky subject and will be one of the hardest decisions you will have to make when it comes to planning your wedding.
In some cases it’s a no brainer, especially if you have children of your own than more often or not children will play a very important part of your day, however I was recently speaking to a dear friend who although she has children of her own, will not be inviting other children to the day. The decision was fairly easy to make, she was on a budget, struggling to keep numbers down and with most of her friends at least having one child to bring she quite simply couldn’t afford to invite them all.
The problem for her wasn’t making the decision; it was the reaction she received from the parents once she had told them. Some outright refused to attend without their children (yes these are meant to be friends and family?) others said that they were going to bring their kids along anyway, with the opinion that the bride and groom wouldn’t surely turn them away when they are already there.
So here lies the question how can you make sure your guests don’t bring their children?
Firstly make it painstakingly obvious, only put on the invitation who it is that you are inviting i.e. Mr and Mrs Smith. Reinforce this by then putting on your invitation that the ‘wedding and reception is strictly an adult only affair’. Also make sure you include the age at which you class children i.e. children under the age of 12.
Secondly you have to be stubborn, don’t be bullied into allowing even just one child otherwise you will end up inviting them all. This is your wedding, you set the rules and people can either like it or lump it, you wouldn’t tell them who to invite to their wedding so they shouldn’t be allowed to do it you.
It may be too late for some who have already booked there venues, but if you haven’t done so yet and you know you don’t want children at your wedding, then you could even go as far as booking a venue where they only cater for adults only, that way parents cannot argue with your decision.
Unfortunately even all this cannot guarantee that friends and family will not be offended so be prepared to tackle the situation with a polite but stern attitude. Explain that you simply couldn’t afford to invite children and was finding it impossible to limit numbers so found it was only fair to exclude all. You could even follow this up by saying that it will be nice for the parents to have a night where they don’t have to worry about the kids as you want everyone to be able to have a good time and let their hair down.
My last bit of advice for you is to not be surprised if you do find one or two uninvited children on the day and be prepared to have to just let it go for the moment. However you can make it quite clear to those that ask that no children were invited and that this particular guest has taken it upon themselves to go against you wishes something you will have to discuss with them at a later date, but for the time being it’s your wedding day so make sure you enjoy it.
Much Bespoke Love
♥ ♥ ♥
If you would like to read more on this subject then check these out:
♥ The Complete Guide to having Children at your Wedding by Bridal Musings
♥ Problem Solved: Bringing Children to a Wedding by Bridal Banter
♥ Inviting Kids to the Wedding by The Knot
Good Luck,
As a Mother of the Bride, our daughter and son-in-law also wanted to keep the cost down in the wedding, and decided to go with a no children reception. It was a hot mess, with the family on both sides. The options we offered, were all top shelf, a private room for the kids, with licence babysitters so parents could enjoy the day. We also planned to serve the kids a pizza party, oh yes kids it grew from six kids to eight kids to ten kids. Then their parents thought having the kids in a separate, but private area set up just form them but still close to the wedding reception still wasn’t good enough, since the dads, didn’t know these sitters personally. We had asked them to leave the kids
at home anyway, or find a sitter months before the wedding day. Well the problem grew and it got to the point the grandmothers, of the kids then refused to attend and starting threatening to sit in their cars unless their grandkids could come in. This was my saddest part of a beautiful wedding, people have to respect what the couple wants and can afford to do. The kids ended up in and out of the reception room, running around, while the parents dance and drank the night away..Something I was suppose to be doing, we were over the catering budget, since the pizza wasn’t good enough, and the pictures that mean so much have kids in them.. Oh well hopefully they wont get a chance to spoil another wedding, by reading this posting..It’s been three years and I just realize I am still upset about it..