Kid’s Wedding Clothes: Dressing Your Little Ones for a Wedding
Is Technology Wasting Precious Time In Your Relationship?
Stationery by Emily Mcdowell Draws
Back in the day, what did couples do with their time? In the days when there were no TVs or phones or game consoles to distract them from each other, did they spend true quality time together? Have conversations without phones going off? I believe so.
I don’t know about you but being distracted by phones has caused several arguments in my relationship, mostly on my part bringing up the fact that I’m not receiving the full attention I want. Is that bad? Is that demanding? I don’t know. All I know is, I’m just as guilty and it needs to change!
We’ve become a nation OBSESSED with being connected at all times and the thought of being out of signal or wifi or 3G terrifies us! Heaven forbid we can’t check our emails or social networking sites for a day or two!
I’m sick of looking across the dinner table and seeing my other half engaged in his phone and I’m sure he’s just as sick at me for scrolling through the Twitter and Instagram feeds while I’m waiting for the kettle to boil. What happened to waking up in the morning and the first thing you do is kissing your other half good morning? Not waking up in the morning and grabbing your phone to check the time and being distracted by notifications on your screen and feeling the instant need to find out exactly what happened in those last 7 hours you were asleep!
I went to Glastonbury last summer and for 5 whole days none of us had our phones in use, and it was brilliant. Of course I could never do that in ‘normal life’ and I wouldn’t expect anyone to, but it felt so great to truly absorb what was going on around me and I can honestly say I felt so connected to everyone, purely because we were all dedicating full attention to each other.
Don’t get me wrong, I think that social media can be AMAZING. I love the people that technology has brought into my life and without it I wouldn’t know such inspiring men and women, I just think we really need to learn when to use it and more importantly when not to use it. Even James & I got together because of talking on Facebook! But now, I want nothing more than to devote more time to the people in front of me rather than the people I haven’t even met and seeing what they had for lunch.
When we constantly check our phones and we’re supposed to be spending time with each other it sends the message that what’s on my screen right now is more important than you. And that’s just awful.
Please tell me I’m not the only one feeling this way. Do you have this problem? Or this argument? Or do you think it’s fine to be constantly doing this? When and how do we learn to switch off? Or should we even? Are we supposed to adapt and grow with technology and stop being stuck in the past ways of life? Or is spending ‘quality’ time together still about devoting true attention to each other with no distractions? Maybe I’m just being too demanding and unrealistic, but then again, maybe I’m not…
Much Bespoke Love
Jess x
Great post Jess!
My Mr has a very old phone so isn’t connected in that way at all, and I love that he always gives me 100% attention (I’m such a brat I wouldn’t have it any other way)! I find it a little more difficult but rarely look at my phone after 7 o’clock and have banned it for ‘waiting for something to happen’ moments e.g. kettle boiling, kids coming out school, shop queue I have instead decided to be in the moment and either just enjoy the wait or talk to someone new or just take in the chaos around me. I love it, and feel much better for it.
But I understand my views are shared by everyone and some customers still don’t seem to understand I have a life and don’t like it that I don’t reply to emails within an hour.
I’m not sorry for that, as I want my children and the people I love to see my face and not the back of my mobile!
Kel x
Thanks Kelly! It’s so nice to hear I’m not the only one! I think you’re doing it 100% right! It’s so difficult when your business (especially ours) is large part social media and it’s really easy to get caught up in it, just need to remember when it’s important and when it isn’t! x
I completely agree Jess. I love social networking it’s done wonders for my photography business and relationships in life; mainly friends. However there are times I feel that both my husband are I are connected to another world rather than the one we should actually be living. This is partcularily difficult for my husband as he’s an iOS/mobile developer!! I think the best way which we are learning more and more is to set boundaries as you say. Phones away at dinner, and when we’re watching movies etc it’s hard but it reminds us what we’ve lost and how much more we have to gain when it’s just us without interruptions!