The Benefits of a Wedding Planning Journal: How it Can Help You Stay Focused and On Task
HOW TO CHOOSE YOUR BRIDESMAIDS, OR NOT CHOOSE ANY AT ALL?
All images by Tamytha Cameron Photography (See the full wedding here!)
Congratulations you’ve just got engaged now’s the time to pick your bridesmaids, right?… Well actually you might want to think twice before rushing into asking anyone, because once you have asked, it’s becomes very difficult to take back. Trust me I know how easy it is to get caught up in all the excitement and start picking out bridesmaids left, right and center. I know what it feels like to be a bridesmaid that got dumped and I also had the unfortunate task of having to let my own bridesmaids down when my first engagement ended, so I like to think I’m pretty clued up on this area? Or not, dependant on which way you look at it?
This time round I have taken a very different approach, in that I haven’t asked anyone? That’s not saying I won’t, but until I am 100% sure of a date, a venue and everything else, I won’t be asking anyone to be my bridesmaid.
Luckily, I haven’t had to succumb to any family politics as I come from a family of boys and so does Mr T, so there will be no awkward decisions to make over sisters and in-laws, however I am still finding it a difficult decision. For me the most important thing is to be surrounded by people I love, those I couldn’t imagine spending my day without, friends that will be there to tell me how amazing I look on the morning of my wedding and still be there telling me that in 10, 20 years time. I want to look back on my wedding photos and still be able to call these girls my closest friends, my girl gang!
Of course you will also want to choose people that will be able to help you in the lead up to the wedding, the maid of honour for example is generally the a bride’s wing woman – she is expected to plan hen parties, bridal showers, help with wedding details like choosing a dress and helping out with any DIY, as well coordinate the rest of the bridesmaids, who will also be expected to help out with tasks when needed. Of course, if your best friend is a dude or you’re particularly close to your bro, why not have them take on the role? They could be your man of honour, bridesman, brides dude the choice is yours?
Before choosing your bridal party think about how much of role you would expect them to play in your big day? How will this affect their own personal commitments, i.e work, kids? Will you have enough budget to pay for dresses, makeup, bouquets etc. If not, would you feel comfortable asking them to pay for themselves. If they couldn’t would you still be able to afford to pay and not take it personally?
You might also have found yourself in a tricky situation where someone expects to play a role in the bridal party but they haven’t made the cut. Personally this would be my worst nightmare, as I hate saying no, so if you do need to let someone down, do it gently. Offer them a well thought out explanation and perhaps soften the blow by giving them another role at the wedding such as a reading.
Finally, don’t feel the need to ask people to be your bridesmaid just because you were one at their wedding and vice versa, don’t feel like you have to leave someone out because you weren’t asked to be a bridesmaid at theirs. Also don’t have bridesmaids just because tradition says so and above all don’t worry about letting people down, remember, true friends & family will understand whatever you choose!
Tell us have you opted out of a bridal party? Perhaps you chose you a man of honor instead of a maid? Or have you had to let a bridesmaid down? We want to hear from you, share your stories below.
xxx
Such good advice. I have been to wedding after wedding where there are lots of bridesmaids because the bride hasn’t want to leave anyone out and because parents have said it will ‘upset so and so’. A wedding day is so personal and the bride should be able to choose whoever she wants with her to support her, or choose no one at all. Its your day after all.
Amen! What an awesome article! It is pure Hell watching my only daughter struggle with this issue. Everyone says “Remember it’s her day” well that’s a bunch of crap as I see her struggle with this sensitive issue. Thanks for your insight.