Unique Ways to Include Your Future Mother-in-Law in Wedding Planning
Your wedding day is not just a celebration of your love, it’s also an occasion for you to showcase your impressive juggling skills as you balance the expectations of all your loved ones. While you’re busy planning the perfect day, don’t forget that your future mother-in-law (MIL) is a VIP guest who deserves a front-row seat for the festivities. After all, she did raise the person you’re about to marry, so she deserves some serious credit. Including her in the planning process not only makes her feel like the rockstar she is, but it also helps build a strong foundation for your new, extended family.
As part of our planning tips for brides and grooms, let’s dive into some fun and thoughtful ways to bring her into the wedding planning mix. Whether she’s a budding event planner or just loves to feel included, we’ve got tips to help you make her feel like the star of the show—right after you, of course!
Invite Her Dress Shopping
One of the most personal and enjoyable aspects of wedding planning is shopping for your wedding dress, and it’s a great opportunity to include your future MIL. While the focus is often on the bride’s dress, inviting her to help pick out her own outfit for the wedding shows that you value her presence and style.
Take Her Along to Pick Out Her Dress
Shopping for the mother of the bride dress or mother of the groom, of course, can be a bonding experience. It’s going to be a chance to discuss her preferences, the overall theme of the wedding, and how her outfit can complement the bridal party’s attire. This small gesture can mean a lot to her and help establish a supportive and caring relationship between the two of you.
Watch this video to learn the differences between the mother of the bride and groom dresses:
Incorporate Personal Touches
Weddings are about bringing two families together, and one of the most meaningful ways to do this is by incorporating family traditions and heirlooms into your big day. This not only honors the past but also creates a new chapter in the family’s story.
Family Traditions or Heirlooms
Ask your future mother-in-law about any family traditions or heirlooms that could be included in your wedding. It can be a piece of jewelry, a special reading, or a symbolic family ritual. These “little things” will make your wedding even more special. Incorporating something significant from your fiancé’s family shows respect and appreciation for their history, and in the long run, it will strengthen your connection with your new family.
Family Recipes for the Menu
Another wonderful way to involve your future MIL is by asking her to share a beloved family recipe that can be included in the wedding menu. This could be a signature dish for the reception or a special treat at the rehearsal dinner. You will make her smile and she won’t forget this small detail. Not only does this honor her family’s culinary traditions, but it also adds a unique and personal touch to your wedding.
Special Family Music
Music plays a crucial role in any wedding, and asking your future mother-in-law about songs that hold special meaning for the family is a great way to include her. Whether it’s a song for a special dance or background music during the reception, this will show her that you care about her input and want to honor her family’s traditions. For a good list of other wedding music to choose from – read this.
Collaborate on DIY Wedding Projects
Working together on creative projects is a fun and interactive way to bond with your future mother-in-law.
Especially if you are planning to add a personal touch and DIY some of your wedding elements, such as centerpieces, invitations, or wedding favors, this will be the best type of activity to share with your MIL. Invite her to join in; working together on these projects can be a great way to learn more about each other’s tastes and preferences.
Offer Her a Special Role in the Ceremony
You will help your mother-in-law feel more included. This small gesture not only honors her but also solidifies her place in the new family dynamic. She could be a “master of ceremony” in many pre-wedding or reception moments.
Pre-Wedding Celebrations
Encourage your future mother-in-law to be involved in planning or hosting the bridal shower or rehearsal dinner. Giving her an active role in these events will benefit you in two ways. It helps relieve some of the pressure on you, but also makes her feel like a valued part of the wedding journey.
Help with a Memory Table
Ask for her help to create a memory table at the reception, which could include family photos, mementos, and other meaningful items. This is a touching way to honor both families and allows your future MIL to share her family’s history with your guests.
Gather Baby Pictures of the Groom
Many wedding ceremonies include these meaningful mementos, and there is no one better at working on this project than the mother of the groom (or bride). Invite her to gather the most beautiful baby pictures of the groom for a nostalgic display at the reception or as part of a slideshow. She will be grateful for a chance to reflect on her son’s journey to this significant moment.
You can also ask her to write a touchy speech, like this one:
Organize a Mother-Daughter Day or a Girls’ Night Out
Consider a girls’ night out or a spa day to relax and have fun together. These moments of light-hearted interaction can help break the ice and create a stronger, more personal connection between you and your future MIL.
Other Ways to Include Your Future MIL
- Something as simple as making sure your future MIL has a good seat at all wedding events can go a long way in showing her that she is a valued part of the day.
- Consider creating a special keepsake just for your future mother-in-law as a token of appreciation for her support during the wedding planning process. This could be anything from a personalized gift to a heartfelt note expressing your gratitude.
How to Handle Challenging or Differing Opinions
Including your future mother-in-law in wedding planning can be a delicate balancing act, especially when opinions differ. It’s important to handle these situations with patience, care and consideration.
Differing opinions are natural, but they don’t have to create tension. When conflicts arise, approach them with an open mind and a willingness to compromise. Communicate clearly and kindly, let her know you have acknowledged her suggestions while also expressing your own preferences. Finding common ground can turn potential conflicts into opportunities for collaboration.
Balancing Your Vision with Her Expectations
While it’s important to include your future MIL in the planning process, it’s equally important to stay true to your own vision for the wedding. Set clear boundaries early on and gently remind her that while her input is valued, the final decisions should reflect the couple’s wishes. This approach fosters mutual respect and helps prevent misunderstandings.
Including your future mother-in-law in your wedding planning not only strengthens your bond with her but also helps to build a supportive network within your new family. By fostering a positive relationship with your in-laws from the beginning, you set the stage for a lifetime of support, love, and shared experiences.